Pood: TAN MAN
by Sepetyra Navi
Summary: Yes, I gave it an acronym title, and it stands for... well, that would be a spoiler, wouldn't it? Even though you could just click on this story and find out right away... Anyway, this story is written much better than my previous Pood story. LULZ
1. A Prologue! Begin Youth Blasts!

**Terribly Awful Nightmares and the Menacing Alder Nano**

**TAN MAN**

**A Prologue- Begin Youth Blasts!**

Ryan yelled in blind indignation as he drop-kicked Nick in the face. Nick gagged on something and fell over. Then Ryan made a death growl and landed on Nick's back.

"Ur is fail, Tardoni!" Ryan cried, foaming at the mouth.

"Ryan, chill out," Cody muttered, hiding his face is his hands.

The assembly of girl scouts stared at Ryan and Nick in awe. Either that, or in disgust.

"Now you all owe us twenty bucks," Ryan said, "However it _is_ possible to exchange your fee for a year's supplies of cookies."

The girl scouts scowled at the boys and toddled off down the streets of Glyph City. The three of the famous/infamous Pood Septuplets were collecting money by sparring on the side of the road. However, for these boys, money isn't part of the living curriculum, so it was pointless, as Matty would say.

Speaking of Matt, he was maxing and relaxing back at The Pad. See, he felt no need to participate in what's pointless. So he wouldn't take part in most group 'activities'. However, his power slowly increasing, he was the most competent…when it comes to 'business'.

Andrew, Zach, and Joseph were on the other side of Glyph City (Which is the capitol of Habaro, by the way) collecting money as well. But they weren't sparring for it, as much as Joseph wished. Instead, Zach was doing his new trademark move, the pen spin. The massive audience gasped every time he made a successful spin, which was all the time. As in they got a lot of money…

Mio, Ocifer, and Minh were at the mall, allowing Mio to spend all the not-so-hard-earned money on herself. This may seem like a topic in which someone yells, "objection," but nobody in the Septuplets seemed to care. Minh and Ocifer were carrying stacks upon stacks of random crap that Mio would probably never use. She was a few months away from sixteen years old, so random crap that she'll probably never use was what she felt she had to buy.

"Don't subject me to holding any more girly boxes, Mio," Ocifer said, straining over the weight of the random crap that Mio will probably never use.

"Then screw you, Roy-san," Mio replied, focused solely on buying more random crap that she'll probably never use.

Ocifer shrugged and gave Minh all of the boxes. Minh cried out in fury as he got a game over.

Meanwhile, in a location yet to be determined, a weird looking nubcake sat in a throne. (Much like Daijuro for those who read The Story…ahem…Andronian.)

"Lord Alder," a demon-like man said, bowing before the thing on the throne, "The Pood dudes are all over Glyph City, being expectedly awkward…"

"Good, I'm enjoying them when they're doing things like this. It's very enjoyable," Alder replied, shifting in the throne, "And tell mine carpenter to fixing my throne better. It is the uncomfortable."

The demon man bowed again. "Of course, Lord Alder."

As the demon man exited the room, Alder giggled. Being a big fan of blurting out his problems and evil plots, he began to talk to himself, "When the Poods get a kidnapped, they'll will experiencing mine evil and horribly frightening and terrifyingly immaculate nightmares…Oiy, this'll will be exciting!"

Back at the Pad, the Septuplets counted their money. Or rather, they made Nick count their money.

Nick grumbled as he reached the four-hundred mark.

"Don't fail me Nick!" Ryan shouted from the other room. He and Andrew were hooked playing the classic GameCube games. Zach, Cody, and Minh played the newest hits on the Wii. Joseph and Matt were in the training room doing nothing but what the room suggests.

The telephone rang…

It was cold and raining heavily outside.

Through the silence of the lonesome study, Mio moved slowly toward the phone. She picked it up and placed it tenderly on her delicate shoulders.

"Hello?" she asked in a cautious whisper.

There was a short silence.

"Hello?" Mio asked again, about to hang-up. Just then she heard the voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi…" it muttered through heavy breaths.

"Who is this?"

"…Mine name…is of the no concerning…" the voice was low and terrible.

"I'm hanging up!" Mio said.

"No! Crap, don't do that!!" the voice cried, breaking the weird cliché mood I set…dang.

"May I speak to the owner of the household?" the voice, who is Alder, asked.

Mio frowned. The owner of the household lived just less than sixty miles away.

"No, I'm sorry, he's, uh…dead." She replied.

"Ah, sorry to hear. I apologize…"

"Yeah, so go away."

Alder did not hang up. "Okay, then; may I speak to the woman of the household?"

Mio blinked. Then she grinned and sat in a chair. She put her legs up on a desk and wrapped her finger around the phone's cord.

"Yes, this is her," she said satisfied.

"You are the just won an free pile of corpse!!" Alder shouted.

Mio hung up.

"Six hundred and sixty six dollars!" Nick blurted, interfering with Ryan and Andrew's GameCube extravaganza.

"No, take a dollar off!" Ryan shouted, totally focused on his playing the GameCube.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis…" Nick muttered, obeying Ryan's command.

"Now count it again, you know, just to be sure!"

"Shizzle pops and creamed brocco flowers!!" Nick cried, beginning the count anew.

"Optic Blast!! DEREK!! NOOOOOOoo!" Ryan finished his sentence with an explosion he refers to as the 'nosplosion.'

Andrew slapped him in the back of the head for being annoyingly more annoying than usual.

Just then, Matt walked in the room, looking very bored.

"S'up, Matto-cakes?" Ryan asked, still glued to the television screen.

"I'm too powerful to train with Joseph anymore…it's just not what it used to be…" Matt replied, crossing his arms.

"So what do you want us to do about it?" Andrew asked.

"How would I know?"

"Ask Pood," said Zach as he strutted into the room, "I'm sure he's got something impossible for you to try, like always."

Matt nodded. "That sounds…interesting…I'm gunna go and do that now…" he looked up at the others in the room with him, "Anyone else want to come?"

Ryan threw his controller through the screen. "Sure, I'll accompany you on this worthless sixty mile trek to a perverted old man's house." He replied.

Matt paused. "When you put it that way, I kinda don't want to go." He said.

"No! Me, you, Andrew, and Zach! We're going!"

Andrew, Matt, and Zach all shrugged. Then they left, leaving the others…obviously.

At Pood's house, the four boys found their master in his backyard, tending to his spice garden.

"Oiy, Poodles!" Ryan shouted, hopping over the garden's fence.

Pood looked up from his work and frowned. _'Oh…It's them…'_ he thought. "Ryan, if you say my name like that once more, I'll tear your arms off and beat your face in with them."

Ryan laughed obnoxiously.

"Sensei," Matt said, careful not to step on Pood's spices, "I'm here to ask you if there's anything extremely challenging and virtually impossible so that I may do it…and probably succeed."

Pood put his wrinkly old finger in the air. "Of course, my tremendously demanding and practically impractical friend!" he cried.

Matt frowned because his master had just outdone him in the Septuplets latest spontaneous 'everyone-plays-all-the-time' game that Zach refuses to play in order to spite everyone, Word Explosion. In this game, you say something with a lot of big words in it, and then the next guy tries to top it. Sometimes, it's very hard to top what some people say, so Andrew always wins.

"Ever since about three minutes ago, this weird guy has been calling my Motorola Razr cellular phone nonstop. In fact, he's calling right now. I'm just not picking up." Pood said.

"What has he been saying?" Zach asked, not particularly interested, but determined to keep the plot moving.

"Well, I wouldn't know because I haven't answered yet, but my psychic powers say it's something Engrish. Either that or something lacking necessary grammar skills." Pood replied.

"That's like, the same thing." Andrew said, glaring at a certain grain of sand that's been calling him names ever since they arrived.

"Give me the Motorola Razr cellular phone," Matt said, extending his hand. Pood obeyed and gave Matt the phone. Matt flipped it open and placed it by his ear. "Mushi-mushi. This is Matto Alcala, unstoppable force of the Pood Septuplets. Who is this?" he asked.

Nothing…wait, no…hold on…no, yeah…no. No! Yeah! …no…Yes!

"Hola. This's MYSTERIOUS, calling about a proposition costings 1.50 for the first minute and .25 for every after. Will you accept this charges?" it was Lord Alder, for any reader who wants to know. For those of you who didn't want to know…Well, I'm gunna have to erase your memory. I'll meet you in the park after your parents go to sleep…

"Sure." Matt replied.

"Werr then. Mine name is Rord Arder."

"Lord Alder? Have I heard that before?" Matt wondered aloud.

"No. You haven't heard it. It has never passed by your ears. Now shut up the mouth and listen. I say all boys arrive at field of dream and get met by me. Then will begin great contest." Alder said.

Matt didn't go over this with his fellow Septuplets. Instead he just answered. "Okay. We'll meet you in the Dream Field. When?"

"As soon as can able."

Matt flipped the phone shut and opened it again.

"Who are you calling?" Zach asked, still uninterested.

"Everyone back at The Pad. And I'm telling Nick to bring over your weapons. We're meeting a weird guy by the name of Alder at the Dream Field soon." Matt replied.

Ryan clenched his fist. "Yes!! Axtion!" he shouted.

The phone rang again, and Mio picked it up.

"What?" she asked.

"Mio? This is Matt."

"Oh, hi Matto-sama. What do you need?"

"…Uh, can you put Cody on the line?"

"Oh, uh…sure. Hold on." Mio went and got Cody and handed him the phone.

"Hello?" Cody asked.

"Cody? This is Matt. Tell everyone, including Ocifer and Phuoc for some reason, to take their weapons and arrive at the Dream Field in five minutes. And tell Nick to get Ryan's zanbatou and Andrew's syringe."

"Okay." Cody replied simply. Then he crushed the phone in his hands.

"What did he want?" inquired Mio.

"He wants us to go to the Field. Scuttle that cute butt, Mio. We're heading out."

"What? Why didn't he just tell me that?"

"Because you're really annoying and really emo," Cody said.

"Well you're truly exasperating and dreadfully MEAN!" Mio cried, halfway defeating Cody in another spontaneous round of Word Explosion.


	2. Learning to English Better

A flippen' long time ago, Pood became the Omni, the master of the 4 original elements

**Chapter 1- Invitation to Nightmare: Learning to English Better!**

There they were, standing in the middle of Dream Field. Matt, Ryan, Cody, Andrew, Zach, Joseph, Nick, Minh, Mio, Ocifer, and Phuoc. A team fit for the field's name…dream. Yeah, it was truly a breathtaking sight. In fact, if Nick, Minh, and Mio weren't there, then it'd be completely awesome. But I digress…

They were totally there as a small figure rose out of the ground.

"Good today, Pood Septuplets. Is it not a fine afternoon?" Lord Alder asked, for he was the small figure.

Ocifer threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped on it. "Alright, cut the crap," he demanded. When he was around, he felt obligated, as the adult, to talk for the kids. "Tell us what your proposition is so I can go home and watch my soaps."

"Of courses Monsieur Mr. Roy," Lord Alder said, "Ewe all, eye hath called ewe fourth two explain that…Hey, do you all remembering the nine assassins?"

"Why would we just randomly forget that incident which only happened two years ago?" Ryan blurted, cutting Ocifer off.

"Okay," Lord Alder said, nodding, "Cuz I got something and it is something much worse than that something which occurred two years ago."

"What?" (It doesn't matter who said this.)

"Mine nightmares."

Cody and Joseph, the taunting masters, couldn't help but take this opportunity to say, "Aw, does the hideous little baby have nightmares?"

Lord Alder, as small and ugly as he was, took no offense to the statement. Instead, he shook his head. "No, but you will." He said.

"Ooh, real intimidating," Ryan said in an overly sarcastic way.

Andrew frowned. He, being of high intelligence, along with Zach, Matt, and Ocifer, realized the meaning behind the not-so-cryptic sentence. Andrew quickly came to the conclusion that 'nightmares' was just a fancy word for bad dreams. He was right, but only to the extent that even Ryan figured that out. If he wanted to be completely correct about what Lord Alder was planning, he would have needed to realize that Alder had some pretty freaky magical powers.

In an instant, Lord Alder blew fairy dust at them and scurried away.

"That's right crap sacker! Run away!" Cody shouted. Then he became bored. He took a deep breath and headed back to The Pad.

Joseph, too, was bored instantly. He took Nick in one hand and Minh in the other and followed Cody.

Soon, Ryan and Andrew left the field as well. Mio convinced Zach that the movies would be great, so they went to go do that. It was down to Matt, Ocifer, and Phuoc. They stood in a triangular formation, carefully eying eachother for sight of the first move.

Ocifer's hand twitched and Matt shot a laser at him. Through the dust came Ocifer, brandishing his beam sword. Just before he was about to slash at Matt, Phuoc came out of nowhere and kicked him out of the sky. Matt grinned and used his light magic to grab Phuoc out of the air and toss him up high. Then Phuoc grinned.

"This is great!" he cried in his high-pitched Asian voice, "Buddhists' Palm!" he dived down with his arm extended toward the ground and when he landed, then a massive crater formed, knocking Matt off balance.

Ocifer then hit Matt in the back with his 'flying headbutt,' causing Matt to soar at Phuoc. The two clashed in midair, but a small plasma bullet hit Phuoc in the ribs, ending his cool clash with Matt in midair.

**Part 1- Ryan's Nightmare: Cliché Knows No Bounds!**

Ryan tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his badly designed bedroom. He made a couple funny faces and entered a state of weirdness.

The ground was covered in a thick fog and Ryan had his zanbatou in his hands.

"So this be your area?" a voice asked.

Ryan turned around. "What? Whothef talks?" he asked.

Lord Alder's head appeared in the space before him, being large and transparent, like a hologram. "You have an very cliché set of fears." He said.

Ryan tilted his head to one side. "Are you talking?"

Lord Alder's head giggled and disappeared.

"Awkward…" Ryan whispered, turning back around…only to find an army of zombies closing in on him.

His eyes widened. His lips trembled. His hair stood. In an instant he knew he was where he wanted to be. "SWEET!" he shouted, "ZOMBIES ROCKZ MY SOCKZ!"

After making quick work of the zombie horde, Ryan patted himself on the back. "Good job…" he whispered.

"Scurvy lurv!" a voice roared.

Expecting Lord Alder again, Ryan didn't turn around. "Go away and send more zombies…" he muttered.

The voice had its arms extend and grab Ryan.

The sixteen year old idiot captain of the Septuplets stared into the face of a giant demon thing.

EVAN- Blade Wielding Berserker Hardcore Maniac Zombie Lord of the Undead

**Part 2- Cody's Nightmare: The Really Fast Grand Prix!**

Cody tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his bachelor pad of a bedroom. He made a couple disturbed faces and entered a state of coolness.

The lovely green hills went as far as Cody could see, and for all he cared, they never ended. He smiled and sat on the grass, noticing his katana lying before him. He picked it up and read the note attached to it.

It read, 'Ur an contestant in teh Really Fast Grand Prix. You will need teh katana-giri for this. Hearts, Lord Alder. P.M.S., nice area. Very pretty.'

Cody frowned. 'Gay, gay, gay…' he thought.

"Why, hello, old rival!" a familiar voice said.

Cody looked behind him and frowned again. Kiyuta was standing with Anti-Cody and Colleen, all three looking anxious. "What the flip do you three want?" Cody asked.

"We're here for one last race, punk!!" Anti-Cody shouted.

"Aye, and this one shall decide who lives and who doesn't!" Colleen added as joyfully as she could.

Kiyuta scratched his head uncomfortably.

Cody thought for a moment then smiled and pointed at Kiyuta. "That's right, you're dead. Haha, that sucks."

"Well, it only means that I have nothing to lose!" Kiyuta cried.

The Speedsters of Pood- Four Sound Breaking Teens With Katanas

**Part 3- Andrew's Nightmare: The Unfair Potpourri Game Show!**

Andrew tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his laboratory-like bedroom. He made a couple interesting noises and entered a state of…game show.

The audience roared and the lights made Andrew shield his eyes. He was in sort of a booth, as if he were on a game show, which he was pretty sure he was. There were other booths next to him, each filled with familiar faces.

Anti-Andrew was next to him, then it was Puppet Master Lain, and then Lori Primus of Chick-Pood. A strange-looking being crossed in front of them all.

"And we're back!!" it cried, "This is the Unfair Potpourri Show, sponsored by Lord Alder saying to Andrew, 'I hope you enjoy this highly intolerable game show cuz it is unfair and annoying and also, your area is too crowded,' whatever that means! Let's meet the flipping contestants!! Contestant one?"

"My name is Lori Primus, and I enjoy books."

"Contestant two?"

"I'm Puppet Master Lain and I own all your souls!!"

"Contestant three?"

"My name is Karl Andrews, and I'm to be considered contestant four's evil side. Evil, more _intelligent_ side…"

"And contestant four?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm Andrew Krukowski, and, like…I don't know what's going on…"

"Then you'll suck at this game show!" the being shouted, "This is your host, the

Ragtime Mouse- Hyperactive Game Obsessed Masochist Alien."

**Part 4- Zach's Nightmare: Don't 'Bug' Me! (Puns Rock!)**

Zach tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his intelligently designed bedroom. He made a couple loud grunts and entered a state of gross.

The room was large and full of bugs crawling around all over the place. Zach cringed and hovered in the center of the room, avoiding contact with any insect.

There was a door in front of him that opened. Lord Alder popped his head out and blinked. "Yeah. Thaïs's is gross. I'm a gunna leave ur gross area and leave." He said. He shut the door and locked it, leaving Zach alone.

Then a nasty spider teleported in the room. "Hola, Zachi." It said, waving. It had the same voice as Mio, which was beyond inappropriate for this creature.

"What are you?!" Zach asked, about to cry like a little girl.

"Oh, yeah! I'm the goddess of adorable little insects and the mistress of big creepy-crawlies. And we're gunna have a big fight! Won't that be fun?" the spider replied.

"No!" Zach cried back.

Then the spider grabbed Zach by the collar and death-growled loudly in his face. The absolute insanity of this made Zach light-headed.

Kiwi Insectoid- Giant Naïve Bi-Polar Spider Goddess

**Part 5- Joseph's Nightmare: Capture the Essence!**

Joseph tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his strategically messy bedroom. He made a couple confused mumbles and entered a state of failure.

The room was the exact same as the Training Room back at The Pad. Everything was as he and Matt left it, except the large well-built man standing before Joseph. He was never originally there.

"Small child. I am the essence of you losing a fight." The large man said.

Joseph broke out into laughter.

"What the heck is so funny, small child?"

"I don't lose, so you obviously can't exist." Joseph replied.

"This just in, small child, I do exist, and I foresee your failure!" the large man ripped his shirt off and slapped Joseph across the face.

Joseph frowned and shook his head.

Ijen Aguyh- Well-Toned Foreseeing Fist Fighter Burlesque of Neji Hyuga

**Part 6- Mio's Nightmare: A Fuse of the Ryans!**

Mio tossed and turned in her bed, which was in her adorably emo bedroom. She made a couple of pathetic movements and entered a state of true fear.

She was in a desolate forest late at night. All the trees were dead, because the forest was so desolate. In the distance, she saw a man in a cape. Then he disappeared and reappeared right in front of her. Mio jumped and stared into the man's face. It was the perfect resemblance of Kyle, or Anti-Ryan.

"Kyle?" Mio asked.

"False. I am Ghost, your Anti. I am also a vampire." He replied.

"Wait, so you're an anti-ghost/vampire?"

"False. My name is Ghost, and I am a vampire. I am also your Anti."

"Oh…" Mio slowly nodded her head. Then she heard a giggle coming from the tree behind her. She turned and saw Lord Alder sitting on a branch.

"Sinorita Miss Mio, I'm bringing the fear on topples you. Your area reflects your emoness too." He said. Then he exploded.

"Why does everyone call me that?" Mio asked.

"Because," Ghost replied, grabbing hold of her and pulling her close, "You are." He flashed his fangs and attempted to bite her, but she slipped away.

"I hate vampires!" she pouted.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm also a Man-Siren and an Incubus."

"How would that make me feel better? That's terrible!!"

Ghost- Teen Emo Incubus Man-Siren Vampire

**Part 7- Nick's Nightmare: The Mother of All Fears!**

Nick tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his extremely nerdy bedroom. He made a couple gay sounds and entered a state of foolishness.

A ball of yarn lay before him. He screamed like a little girl and ran away.

Ball of Yarn- Frighteningly Hard to Sew With Ball of Evil

**Part 8- Minh's Nightmare: Cliché Knows No Bounds! (Pt. II)**

Minh tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his pleasingly petite bedroom. He made a couple idiotic melodies by humming and entered a state of ridiculousness.

He stared up the face of a tall tower, reaching up through the clouds. A dragon slept coiled around the tower, and there were all these fruity butterflies flyin' around and such.

Lord Alder crawled out of the ground and glared at Minh. "I'm take back what I'm said about Ryan's nightmare," he said, "Urs is teh most cliché. Am going now." Then he exited the same way he entered.

Minh just smiled. 'I need the axe of Dalshi so that I may slay this Great Dragon from Asgard!' he thought.

The dragon's eyes shot open. "NONE SHALL ENTER THIS EFFIN TOWER MOFO!!" it roared.

"Whatever you say, dick! I'm going in!" Minh shouted back.

Great Dragon- Loud Vulgar Obnoxious Generic Snake With Legs

**Part 9- Matt's Nightmare: a Follower for a Leader, a Shadow for a Light!**

Matt tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his temple-like bedroom. He made a couple disgruntled grumbles and entered a state of profundity.

Matt opened his eyes to see none other that Anti-Matt standing before him.

"So you awaken," Anti-Matt said. His silhouette body seemed to be flowing from side to side.

"Where am I?" Matt asked, already ready to punch Anti-Matt across the face.

"I telling you," Lord Alder said, stepping out from behind Anti-Matt.

"Alder?"

"Yeah; Matto, can I call you Matto?"

"No."

"Matto, I see fears and urs are fearful and fearingly feared. And I tell, you are confusing."

Matt stared at Alder, ready to punch him across the face as well. "What are you saying?" he asked.

"He's saying that you have the most complicated set of fears," Anti-Matt replied, "This nightmare will be quite interesting."

Matt chuckled. "I have no fear." He said.

If Anti-Matt could grin, he would have. "Keep telling yourself that. For the time being, however, it's time to GET THE HECK UP, MATTO-KUN!"

Matt was confused. Anti-Matt's head became Ryan's as he said that last sentence. Then Matt woke up, and Ryan's face was in his face.

"Ryan…get off the face…" Matt muttered.


	3. Getting The Big Picture

A flippen' long time ago, Pood became the Omni, the master of the 4 original elements

**Chapter 2- Getting the Big Picture!**

The Pood Septuplets and Mio all gathered in the kitchen, deep in thought about the occurrences the previous night. They shared that they all had Lord Alder appear in a so-called 'nightmare' and introduce them to a new enemy.

"So that's probably why he asked if we remembered the nine assassins…" Andrew said, "This is just like that, but they only show up at night while we're sleeping."

Zach buried his face in his arms. "CRAP! Bugs every night!" he cried.

"Bugs? That's it?" Mio asked him, leaning over next to him, "I have to survive a chase with an emo man-siren incubus vampire!"

"That interests me…Let's share what our nightmares are, just for future reference." Ryan said.

"Well mine's probably the worst," Nick said, still trembling.

"What?" (It doesn't matter who said this.)

"A ball of yarn."

"Dang it, Nick, you're a frikken idiot." Joseph muttered. "Well, mine is apparently the essence of me losing a fight, Ijen Aguyh."

"Mine's a giant unfair game show hosted by this weird alien named Ragtime Mouse!" Andrew shouted, totally P.O.'d by the stupidocity of his nightmare.

"The giant bug's named Kiwi!" Zach cried, "And she death-growled in my face!"

"I get to fight the Great Dragon with the axe of Dalshi!" Minh said.

"Well, I get to race Kiyuta, Colleen, and some other guy…Anti-Cody, I think…" Cody said quietly, as if he didn't care if anyone heard him.

Ryan nodded, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen. "That's cool, if you're super gay, but I get to fight hordes of zombies."

"That's awesome." Andrew replied.

"Thanks."

"What about you, Matto-sama?" Mio asked, patting the pouty Zach on the back.

Matt shrugged.

"Lying sack of crap!" Ryan screamed, drop-kicking Matt in the side of the face.

Matt went, 'Blegh,' and fell over. Then he got up and shot a laser through Ryan's chest, but it healed, because they were just messing around.

"Nonetheless," Andrew said, "If they only show up at night, I suppose we still have all day to be ridiculous and idiotic?"

"I would think," replied Joseph.

"Shut up, Joseph, you don't think. You never think." Ryan snapped.

"You wanna fight, punk?"

"Sure, buff stuff, let's get on that!"

"Stop making up crappy nicknames for everybody!!"

"Why don't you make me?"

"BOYS, STOP!!" Mio cried, silencing the others, "Don't you see?" she asked, standing before the eight, "These nightmares are tearing us apart. It's probably part of Alder's plan, us fighting during the day. It would make us physically and mentally exhausted, allowing the nightmares to overcome us easier. We must spend the days taking it easy to prepare ourselves for the vicious assault Alder has in store for us each night!"

Ryan and Joseph glared at Mio with deep looks of confusion and frustration.

"Mio, I don't know what you're taking about. Joseph and I were just messing around." Ryan said.

"Yeah. We were in no way serious." Joseph added.

"I can't believe you couldn't tell they were sarcastic, Mio…" Zach muttered.

Matt scoffed. "Such as foolish girl…"

Mio's face puffed and drew a deep red. As Ryan and Joseph were chuckling to themselves, she punched them in their nards of doom.

"Oooooooooooooooh…" Ryan muttered in pain, "Next time you try that, Mio…it'll fight back. I'm serious."

Mio sneered and stormed off to her room.

"Anyway," Matt said, "Ryan's fighting dangus aside, I think we should hit Phuoc's Vietnamese Eating Establishment. It's on me this time."

The others all agreed, realizing that there is no good reason in the seven layers of hell to pass up a free Vietnamese meal.

Meanwhile, in the location still yet to be determined, Lord Alder sat in his newly remodeled throne. He was playing paper, scissors, rock with himself, making sure to have each hand win a certain number of times.

The demon guy, who I will call Pommy the Wonder Chef…No. That's unnecessarily retarded. Well then, I will call him…you know? I like 'Pommy,' but 'Wonder chef' may be going overboard. Alright, it's decided. His name is Pommy. Anyway, Pommy made his way to the throne and bowed.

"Lord Alder, the nightmares wish to go on vacation to see their families." Pommy said.

"FTW?!" Lord Alder shouted, overreacting, "I'm did didn't make families for they. Tell they them can go and not see they families cuz I'm did didn't make families."

Pommy nodded, struggling to comprehend his English-failing master. "Well, can we at least take a break?" Pommy asked.

"FWT?! Break from what?"

"Stuff, man. I mean, come on," said Pommy, "We are totally fed up with stuff. It's so overrated and boring."

"Are you saying relevance to my ears? NO!" Alder shouted. "Why you waste my time?"

"Me don't know…"

"Dat right, you greasy swine chucker!" Then Alder tipped back in his throne and it fell over and broke.

It was then that the Pood Septuplets realized that there was no such thing as Phuoc's Vietnamese Eating Establishment. Matt explained he never would have said anything about a non-existent location, so the others got mad at him. But they forgave him of all transgressions when a VORACIOUS PIETY of a man walked by. His avid godliness can only be described by one word, which is actually two words smashed together, 'BillCosby.'

I've always thought that Cosbyness is godliness, and this man, being Dr. Bill Cosby, was the quintessence of Cosbyness. But he died in a tragic ketchup juggling accident before their eyes.

"All that ketchup made me hungry," Joseph said.

"All that blood made me hungry," Ryan whined, grabbing his rumbly tummy.

"I know what you mean. Where are we going to eat?" Cody asked.

Habaro, the island continent they lived on, had only three cities in it. As large as those cities were, a good food eating place was nowhere to be found. So the Septuplets made their way back to The Pad and called Mio.

"What?" she asked.

"Mio? Hey, this is Ryan…uh, like, can you go in the kitchen for a sec?"

"What? Uh, sure, I guess…Okay, now what?"

"See the cupboard next to the fridge?"

"Yes."

"Open that. What's inside?"

"A big spider, a stack of bowls, ramen, the cure for global warming, the beauty of the human body, chopsticks, and a box full of Minh's hentai magazines."

"I was wondering where I hid those…" Minh whispered to Nick.

"Well kill the spider and take out the ramen, bowls, and chopsticks." Ryan commanded.

"No. I'm not gunna make you mean jerks ramen. What did you ever do for me?"

"What?! Come on, Mio, we took you in! Where would you be without us jerks? Besides, who said we wanted you to make ramen? Maybe we want you to…put the chopsticks in your mouth so you look like a walrus, balance the bowls on your head, and wear the ramen like a new fashion trend."

"Ryan, you're a frikken idiot." Then Mio hung up. She hangs up a lot.

"Okay thanks!" Ryan said, giving the cell phone back to Joseph.

"What'd she say?" Andrew asked.

"Not much. She seems a little flustered about this whole nightmare deal…" Ryan replied.

"Did she tell you that?"

"No, but I could tell. Why else would she refuse to make us food?"

**Part 10- Ocifer's Nightmare: A Fast Past Blaster!**

Ocifer tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his mysterious bedroom. He nodded a few times and entered a state of flashback.

He woke up in a warehouse, tied to a chair. His helmet, shotgun, and beam sword lay before him on the floor. He looked around confusedly.

"I see you're awake, Roy." Said a mysterious voice.

"Who's there?" Ocifer asked aloud. Wherever this person was, they weren't in Ocifer's sight.

"It's me, Roy."

"Grave?"

"Yes, Roy."

"Why am I here? Where is this?"

A man stepped out from behind Ocifer and the two men stared at eachother. Grave is the new boss of Acid Train, the infamous gang in which Ocifer was a top-ranked member. All members of the gang had a train track tattoo on their bicep and the high ranked members, like Ocifer, have a metal track across their forehead.

"This is the old hideout," Grave said, quickly adjusting his tie, "Good job at not changing your name, by the way. You weren't hard to find."

"That cuz I helped…" snapped another familiar voice. Alder appeared next to Grave with his hands behind his back. "Roy Ocifer…welcomes to Acid Train again…" he said.

"Alder…" Ocifer whispered.

"Yes, before I'm leave, I'm telling you things. Listen to these five things. 1th, this is scary. Next, I made this with my mind," Alder explained, "Finally, this occurrence occurs every night. Then, you must find escape. And next, Ocifer's a dumb name."

"--the hell are you saying?" Ocifer asked, now beyond confusion.

Lord Alder giggled and disappeared.

Acid Train- Oversized Gang of Diverse Criminals Doing Evil

**Part 11- Phuoc's Nightmare: Flummox Flux!**

Phuoc tossed and turned in his bed, which was in his culturally traditional bedroom. He charged his energy and entered a state of confusion.

"Kuzu Mushui!!" Yelled this Asian guy.

Phuoc woke with a start and kicked this guy in the jaw, instantly killing him.

"Father!" this totally hot girl cried, running to her slain old man's side. She looked at Phuoc and through tears yelled, "What have you done?!"

Phuoc shrugged and looked away. He scratched his neck and turned around.

The girl sobbed on her father's chest for the next twenty minutes. Phuoc never left her side.

Finally, she stood up. "The deed has been done." She whispered.

Phuoc turned back to look at her. She was Asian, with straight black hair. Her eyes were an impossible green, and she was in a traditional princess dress.

"Let's have your name," the girl said. She was maybe twenty three, which was less than half of Phuoc's age. "Speak!"

"I am Phuoc-lan Van Vo," he replied, "Who are you supposed to be?"

"My name is Shinon Koriyama, princess of Knee-Hong."

"What the? Knee-Hong? You mean like, Nihong, Japanese for Japan?"

"No. And how can you determine what I mean by its spelling?

Phuoc shrugged. The two stared at eachother. She was Japanese (or something) and a princess no less. Phuoc was an average Vietnamese man who moved to the U.S. for the betterment of his family. He used his unnaturally awesome martial arts techniques to kill her father, the king, and yet she still stares curiously into his eyes.

"What?" Phuoc asked, growing annoyed.

Shinon blushed. "Nothing! Nothing at all!" she said, "Now, come with me to see the queen, so we may discuss a punishment."

As the two walked away, Lord Alder and a mystifying Frenchman watched with interest.

"You able to be handling them?" Lord Alder asked.

"Kee kee kee…Of course. This will be easy. Leave it to Flabbergaston."

Flabbergaston- French Confusion Masterful Artist Man

Lord Alder reappeared in his newly repaired throne and sighed.

Pommy swiftly entered and bowed. "Lord Alder," he whispered.

"What, Pommy?"

"Some nightmares have returned with afterthoughts of the first strike. Do you wish to hear them out?"

Lord Alder sighed again. "Okey-Dokey. Send in them."

Pommy bowed again and teleported away in a spiral of dark energy. In his place appeared the Ragtime Mouse.

"My Lord, the ratings for my game show have just sky-rocketed. I thank you for that." He said.

Lord Alder nodded. "As longings as kill of Andrew is first priority."

The Ragtime Mouse smiled and exploded in a burst of confetti. Then, a crack in dimensions formed and from out of it stepped Ghost.

"Ah. Ghost. How goes it? I presume you're killed Mio" Lord Alder asked.

"False," Ghost muttered, looking away, "I want to play with her longer. See how things work out. Maybe I'll betray you someday and fall in love with this girl."

The two paused, and then Lord Alder broke out in high-pitched laughter. "Ha, borokana. I could send you back to where I made you with the blink of my good eye…" he said.

Ghost grinned and exited through his dimension rip. Then Flabbergaston painted himself in.

"I just talked to you…" Lord Alder muttered.

"Feh heh heh, I know, I just forgot my favorite brush. However, this is not my room. So I leave! Ciao!" Flabbergaston then left. After he was gone, Anti-Matt crawled up from out of the floor.

"Alder, I'm here for that new look you promised me." He said.


	4. So Begins The FailFest!

A flippen' long time ago, Pood became the Omni, the master of the 4 original elements

**Chapter 3- So Begins the Fail-Fest!**

It was late in the evening at The Pad, and the teens all drank a lot of caffeine and ate a lot of sugar. However, it had no effect on Ryan, who was actually looking forward to his nightmare. Even with all the caffeine, Cody crashed in his bed as soon as he entered his room.

"Ready…steady…" Kiyuta said. Cody shook his head and got in his starting position, making sure he had his katana with him.

"GO!"

The four sped away from the starting line, ripping deep tracks through the beautiful green hills. As they ran, they were side-by-side.

"I guess this is why we have swords!" Anti-Cody yelled, jumping over a rock.

"Who _are_ you anyway?" Cody asked.

"Whathe?! I'm your Anti, you frikken moron! Pay attention to the race!" Anti-Cody replied.

Kiyuta chuckled.

Then for some reason, Colleen chuckled.

"Hey, miss. Don't be stealing my ideas," Kiyuta warned, "Lest you be fond of being cut to ribbons."

Colleen's ubiquitous grin widened. "Yes sir, mister Kiyuta sir! I shall watch what I say and do from now on!" she said. Without warning, she appeared next to him and slashed her katana at his feet.

Kiyuta jumped over the attack and kicked Colleen back with a firm press to the ribs.

She staggered and quickly regained her speed. "Nice reflexes." She said.

"I was an assassin. I was trained to have good reflexes." Kiyuta replied.

"Then I guess you'll dodge this…" Cody added, causing a large vine to sprout out of the ground and lash at Kiyuta.

He ducked and kept up his pace. The vine burrowed beneath the ground next to him, periodically lashing at his feet.

Anti-Cody then jumped as high as he could and threw his katana down like a spear. It landed in the ground, catching Colleen's pant leg. As Anti-Cody landed, he punched her across the face.

"Whoa, mystery guest," Cody called, looking back at the action, "You don't have to be hitting girls and crap. Leave her alone."

"I'm an Anti! I hit _chipmunks_!" Anti-Cody said, taking his sword and catching up to Cody and Kiyuta.

Out of nowhere, Kiyuta blasted through the air and tackled Cody. The vine had finally hit Kiyuta, and it sent him flying into Cody. The two crashed and slid along the ground, but Kiyuta soon used to momentum to slip to his feet and continue running. Cody slowly got up and watched Colleen pass him.

'This field doesn't seem to have an end,' he thought.

Ryan smiled from ear to ear. "DUOAH!!" he shouted happily, "So we meet again, mister scurvy lurv!"

"Name's EVAN, little buddy." EVAN said. His voice was thunderous and hoarse. It was as if he spoke in one giant death-growl. "I'm your nightmare! Ain't that just the BEES KNEES?!"

Ryan nodded. "YUP! Sure is, giant dangus man!"

"YO! SHUT UP! Now I'm mad! Let's fight!!" EVAN gwahtahed. (Gwahtah means to roar so loudly that it's almost silent. Yes, I know. It's awesome.)

EVAN's huge sword was brought down on the head of our young hero, but it was easily blocked. By easily, I mean, with great struggle.

"OIY OH WIGGLE WHAA-WHAAAAT?!" EVAN shouted, stunned in bewilderment. It was amazingly incomprehensible. And yet it was understandingly incredible. Pickles!

"That's right, mister scurvy lurv! I can block stuff with my huge sword!"

"THAT'S WHAT she said!!" EVAN replied, infuriated.

The annoyingness of these two is making me mad…

Then EVAN kicked Ryan right in the nostrils and sent him flying through the space and the time. When he landed, Ryan's nostrils were crying blood. CRIMSON TEAR!! (Remember this phrase for it will return next time Ghost shows up.)

"Foolishness aside, human, I, EVAN, Lord of the Undead, WILL have YOUR head!! I'm the RHYME!!" EVAN announced, flourishing his giant knife-like blade.

Ryan crawled out of the crater he left in the wall of time and space. 'Stackles of crapples…' he thought, 'He's too big to take down easily…'

Then Ryan jumped at EVAN, wildly swinging his zanbatou, hoping to hit something.

"Alright, welcome back!" announced Ragtime Mouse.

Andrew winced at the bright lights as he found himself in the game show again.

"Let's begin! Okay! First question!..."

Andrew, though confused, placed his hand over the buzzer.

"What planet am I from?"

Andrew, Anti-Andrew, Lain, and Lori all froze.

'It is…' Andrew thought, 'It is an unfair potpourri game show.'

The time ran out and the bell dinged.

"Wrong! You all fail and lose ten points!" Ragtime Mouse cried.

Have you read that new book, Murder of Hope? Because it was written that night at the game show.

"Next question!! What planet is Daijuro from?"

Andrew's eyes widened as he glanced at Lain, who pressed the buzzer. "Graviathen, I believe." He answered.

A bell dinged.

"Correct, you gain ten points, Lain, putting you at a zero point balance! Hang in there!"

Andrew slammed his head on the wall behind him.

Ghost floated across the barren landscape in search of his prey. He quietly looked behind rocks, the dead trees, and the giant chunks of debris scattered throughout the field.

"This location is not that big…You can't hide forever…" he muttered.

Mio realized he was right. She quickly gathered her courage and stood up from behind a big rock.

Ghost turned to her.

"What is Alder trying to accomplish?!" Mio asked, her voice shaky from fear, "Is he trying to wipe the Septuplets out because he's intimidated by their power? That must be it, huh?!"

"False," Ghost replied, "Lord Alder wishes to annihilate the Pood Septuplets not from fear, but for another reason that I feel no motivation to reveal at this point in time."

Then he appeared before Mio and grabbed her by the wrists. "Listen…" he muttered, "I'll give you the ultimatum…join us and become immortal like me, or stay with your foolish boys and get killed. The choice is yours."

Mio swung an arm free and slapped Ghost across the face.

"CRIMSON TEAR…" Ghost said.

Mio ran away, but she soon realized it was a hopeless cause. Ghost could teleport anyway…I heard they came out with a sequel to Murder of Hope aptly titled, Ruthless Slaughter to One's Morale. Mio wrote that book, I do believe.

Joseph swiftly punched at Ijen, but it was blocked without effort. Joseph followed up his punch with a flurry of fists and kicks, each of which blocked by Ijen.

"As I said, small child, I cannot be beaten." Ijen said.

"I don't remember you saying that!" Joseph shouted, jumping back to catch his breath.

"Then let me say it now. Small child, I cannot be beaten!!"

"No! You can't say it now, it's too late!" Joseph cried, quickly growing angry with Ijen's attitude, which I think is fine.

The two ran at eachother and commenced with the intense battle sequence. Unfortunately for Joseph, he was failing pretty badly. Or would that be 'he was failing quite well?' Either way, Joseph was sucking compared to Ijen's fat-chick sized biceps. Thus ends another short, yet action-packed sequence of Joseph's nightmare.

Nick was running around like a frikken cat, except he was a cat that was afraid of the ball of yarn. It was ominously chasing him around, except it wasn't moving. Nick decided to be brave and poke it, but then it moved and freaked him out.

Minh ran at the tower with gusto, but his gusto was owned buy the Federal Gusto Committee. Therefore, it failed.

The Great Dragon chuckled quietly, still coiled around the tower, carefully eying Minh's every move. "You're failing pretty hardcore there, little crap-shooter…" it said.

"Shut up you big lizard! I shall make it inside!" Minh yelled.

"Well, hey," said the dragon, "it's just a couple frikken feet away. Just start running and you'll probably make it in…"

Minh nodded and ran for the tower, this time without gusto. But he received a large blast of fire to the face and was sent flying back.

The Great Dragon laughed hysterically. "You're so mother-effing gullible, guy! I can't believe you frikken tried that shizzle!"

"Grave, why are you teaming up with the midget alien?" Ocifer asked, "I mean, what is he supposed to be? With that red coat and that green scarf it's like he's some ugly midget Santa Claus."

"What the…Since when did Santa wear a green scarf?" Grave asked, smoking a cigarette across from Ocifer.

"That's just how I imagined him." Ocifer replied, trying to shrug but the rope was holding him back. "When are you going to untie me?"

"When the ugly Santa comes back with something," said Grave as he folded and unfolded a chair.

Ocifer sighed and tried to shift in his seat, but the ropes kept him from doing that as well.

"So, why'd you kill Boss Stone?" Grave asked.

Ocifer grinned. "I was way beyond him in skill. I achieved the rank of Legend Killer in mere weeks, so I decided to kill the biggest legend of them all."

"That's a lie, Roy."

"What is?"

"You being more powerful than Boss Stone. Nobody could match his 'special technique.'"

"That's just it. He couldn't even use it because he became so weak by letting his bodyguards do the dirty work. As one of his bodyguards, I had the ability and the experience to do the job."

"But why Roy Ocifer? Why'd you kill Boss Stone? And why didn't Epitaph stop you?"

"Because Grave _Stone_…Your dad was corrupt and Epitaph was weak."

Zach shivered in the corner as the billions of little spiders closed in on him. Just before he was about to scream, Kiwi appeared and called them off.

"Hola, Zachi. How are you tonight?" she asked.

"I'd be better if you weren't a giant spider!!" he cried.

Kiwi glanced at the locked door, now covered in cobwebs. Zach looked as well. "Do you want to leave?" she asked mysteriously.

"Yes, dang it! I would love to get out of this place!"

Kiwi nodded and knocked the door down. "Then go…" she said,

Zach got up and ran through the door. He had no clue where he was going, but he picked up speed and began to fly inches above the ground.

It wasn't long before he realized that he was in a maze. There were still many spiders crawling around the walls, and they seemed to be getting bigger. Wolf, Hopping, Daddy Long Legs, Tarantulas, and even Black Widow Spiders were filling the maze with their creepy crawliness.

Zach slowed down as he heard a loud growl coming from behind him. He looked back, but saw nothing. The dimly lit maze didn't allow his eyes to travel far. Then he heard the growl coming from in front of him. He turned back around and stopped just before colliding into Kiwi. Zach screamed and flew the way he came as she death-growled and chased him by crawling on the wall.

Phuoc and Shinon entered a big city and made their way to a large castle. Once inside they walked down the throne room and Shinon bowed before her mother, the empress.

"Shinon-chan, what is the matter?" the empress asked.

"This man killed father with a swift kick to the jaw." Shinon replied.

"That's okay," replied the empress, "He always had a glass jaw. Besides, I've already found a new emperor. Come on out, dear."

A man with long black hair, a dark robe over a dark shirt, and a giant paintbrush stepped out from behind the throne.

"Fu fu fu…Bonnjour. The name's Flabbergaston…" he said.

Phuoc acknowledged his existence with a nod.

"What is it, your awesomely hotness?" Flabbergaston asked the empress.

"This guy…I dunno, my daughter says he killed that old guy or something. I don't know." The empress replied, looking away tiredly.

Flabbergaston fixed his heavy glare and ominous smile on Phuoc. "Oh really?"

"YA RLY…" Phuoc whispered, ready to kick Flabbergaston's jaw.

"Ho ho ho…How intriguing. I believe I shall take this man on a portentous walk through town and possibly decide his fate…or not. Perhaps I'll just take him to my gallery and show him all the pretty pictures I made…"

"WHAT THE FIDDLEMASTER?!" Phuoc screamed.

Flabbergaston's grin widened. "Monsieur Vo, I don't believe I caught you're name…"

"It appears to me you already know it…Flabbergaston Noir…"

"That was an insanely good guess. How the crap did you figure out my last name?"

"Because the author doesn't know French!!"

"Impressive…whatever it is you're talking about…" Flabbergaston muttered.

Matt stood alone with his hands in his pockets. If he was wearing a watch, we would have looked at it.

Spontaneously, Anti-Matt crawled up from out of the floor, sporting a new look.

"Wow. Way to copy my style," Matt said.

Anti-Matt now was the silhouette of the new Matt, unlike when he was the silhouette of the old Matt. (With the sweatshirt, remember?) That meant that he now had arms.

"Yes, well, it is my duty to look like the dark you," Anti-Matt replied, "And since you got a new look, I had to fulfill my duties."

Matt noticed that Anti-Matt now had eyebrows and a mouth, so now he couldn't make those stupid comments about what he would do with them if he had them.

"Why are you here again?" Matt asked.

"I believe Alder told you that I'm your nightmare."

"He never directly said that but that's what I figured," Matt said, "But what I don't get is why. Not only am I not afraid of you, but I could tear you into little pieces. So why are you supposed to be the representation of fear to me?"

"Well, it's not for me to say…"

"And what's up with you? Did you ditch Anti-Pood to join this Alder guy? Based on my ability to sense power, Anti-Pood is the better deal."

Anti-Matt grinned evilly for the first time. "Master Anti-Pood hasn't woken for several days. If Lord Alder can incapacitate someone so easily then power doesn't seem to be an issue." He replied.

"Okay, but I'm just saying. I could take both you and this Alder guy on myself. You and Anti-Pood though…I admit, that may be too much for me. Maybe." Matt said, sounding as cocky as ever.

Anti-Matt bowed his head and chuckled. "It's not for me to say," he repeated, "What's going to happen to you. I'm only carrying out my orders."

"You're taking orders now? You used to dish them out to your anti-group. You've sunken low." Matt said.

Anti-Matt's evil grin faded away and was replaced by a frown. "Enough!" he shouted, "Allow me to introduce you…to your fans!"

Out of nowhere, millions of people dressed like Matt appeared, chasing after him.

Matt turned and sprinted away from them as fast as he could, afraid for the first (and last) time.

The next morning, Ryan jumped out from his room and briskly began to cook a massive buffet-style breakfast.

Not long after, Cody lazily came out from his room and grabbed some food. He was eventually followed by everyone but Mio.

"So, how's my cooking?!" Ryan asked, hovering around the lifeless bodies of his comrades.

"Bad."

"Not very good."

"It sucks."

"Awful."

"Needs more salt."

"Meh…"

"I've had better."… Were his replies. So he ran back into his room and he cried all over.

"By the way," Andrew said, "How have you all been doing in your dreams?"

"You mean nightmares?" Zach corrected, terrified by Kiwi.

"Come on, they're not that bad. It's actually pretty fun." Cody replied, leaning back in his chair.

They spent the next Insert time interval discussing the nightmare crap or whatever.

Down a long dirt path lined by cherry blossoms walked the bane of Ryan. Cody himself had planted the trees when the Septuplets first moved into The Pad. The bane of Ryan stood darkly outside the house holding a massive black sword. He gathered his strength and made his way to the door.

A knock. An open. Of a door. By a Joseph. On a Saturday. At brunch. High of 91. Mostly cloudy. Humidity 8. Winds NNE at 5-10 mph. Expect showers throughout the day. Chance of rain 60.

"Kyle?!" Joseph asked, surprised to find Anti-Ryan waiting in the doorway.

"Kyle?" Andrew repeated, looking over to find the same boy standing.

"Kyle!" Zach shouted with no enthusiasm, understanding what's about to happen.

"Kyle..." Matt muttered, going back to staring out the window at the approaching clouds.

"Kyle?" Cody replied, wheeling his spinney chair over so he could see for himself.

"Kyle." Nick and Minh said, glancing over at Mio's doorway, which opened.

Out she stepped, ever so delicately as she stared at the once innocent boy-turned-evil. "Kyle…" she whispered, almost relieved to find him alive.

"KYLE!" Ryan cried, muffled a bit by his closed door. He kicked it down and nonchalantly stepped out, barefoot and scratching his neck. "Kyle…" he repeated.

"Shut the hell up!" Anti-Ryan yelled, "What the hell was that?! You all just said my name, like, nine times! What the hell is that?!"

"No _you _shut up Kyle. What do you want?" Ryan asked.

"A battle. One last fight, me and you," Anti-Ryan replied. Then he snapped its fingers. It began to rain heavily in an instant. "To the death."


	5. Last Ditch Effort!

A flippen' long time ago, Pood became the Omni, the master of the 4 original elements

**Chapter 4- Last-Ditch Effort!**

"Kyle, I always knew you were a massive nubcake," Ryan said as he stared down his rival through the heavy rain, "But I never thought you'd challenge me at my own home."

Anti-Ryan pointed his black zanbatou at Ryan threateningly. "I'm not afraid to lose…But that's not going to happen! I've been training since we last crossed paths two years ago!"

"Yeah, about that…Didn't you, like, die or somthin'?" Ryan asked, scratching his neck again.

"No! Timmy, Vincent, and I are the only ones left!" Anti-Ryan cried.

"Anti-Matt's alive too," Matt added, standing in the open doorway of The Pad.

Anti-Ryan said nothing.

"Yeah, well," Ryan said, "Ever since Anti-Pood turned you all evil and crap, you stopped aging. What makes you think a fourteen-year-old can take down a sixteen-year-old?"

"Age doesn't matter." Anti-Ryan replied.

"He's right. Age doesn't matter." Matt repeated.

"Screw you guys! I'm trying to be cool and you guys just ruined it!" Ryan shouted. Then he calmed down. But he worked himself back up again when he charged at Anti-Ryan with all his fury.

Back at the location where we always find Lord Alder chilling, Lord Alder was chilling. Pommy came in, as usual, and bowed, as usual.

"Ahs, Pommy. Am the welcoming. How do it goes?" Lord Alder asked.

"Great, I suppose," Pommy replied, standing back up, "Like, so, some of the nightmares are here to talk with you, Lord Alder."

"Good. Send in them."

Pommy nodded and walked off.

A pool of blood appeared on the floor. EVAN rose out of it, grinning idiotically.

"EVAN! How art thou?" Alder asked, happy to see one of his finest creations. (or so he thinks.)

"IT'S TOTALLY SWEET!" EVAN shouted, "This Ryan character IS SUPREME when it comes to BEING fun to battle."

"Glad am me to hears those bit of info. When can you killing he?"

"DUNNO LOL!!" EVAN gwahtahed. Then he sunk back into the pool of blood and it disappeared.

Lord Alder continued to grin as Kiwi fell from the ceiling.

"Konnichiwa, my lord!" she greeted.

"Kiwi, my dear. Hows bes itz?" Alder asked.

"Itz bes exellent! Zachi is totally terrified of me!" she said, "I'll have him dead in a couple of nights! 'Kay, bye!" Her anus shot out a web, which she used to soar away.

Ijen walked in the throne room with his fat-chick sized biceps behind his back.

"Ijen…" Lord Alder whispered.

"Lord, this small child Joseph is very stubborn. Fortunately for me, he's a small child, and like all small children, he will be utterly slaughtered and smeared against the wall in a demonic diagram of blood. Good day." Ijen said. Then he just kinda walked away.

Alder made a funny face at him as he left, but Ijen stopped and turned around.

"Don't do that, Alder. Or I'll punch you." Ijen warned. Then he walked away again.

Alder crossed his arms and sank into his chair. "Stupid face head." He muttered.

The two teens glared at eachother, Ryan with a grin, and Anti-Ryan with a look of determination. A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky and Anti-Ryan disappeared.

Not fazed by the ever-so-common state of confusion, Ryan spun around and swung his massive zanbatou behind him. It collided with Anti-Ryan's ribs, and he was sent soaring back onto the stairs before Matt's feet.

After a sigh of pain, Anti-Ryan sat up, "How'd you know I was there?" he asked.

"Everyone attacks from behind when they spontaneously disappear…" Matt muttered.

"He's right, Kyle. Let's try to be less generic next time, okay?" Ryan said, resting his zanbatou on his shoulders.

Anti-Ryan looked up behind him at Matt's emotionless gaze. Then he looked in the windows of The Pad. Mio was watching intently with Zach by her side. He finally stood back up and swiftly shot a bolt of lightning from his hand at Ryan.

Unable to block with his zanbatou, Ryan used his mastery over earth to magically lift some rocks out of the ground to protect him. Despite this, some of the lightning got around the rocks and shocked Ryan in the chest. He staggered backward and scoffed.

"Pathetic little jerk-wad. I'm gunna own yer face in!" Ryan shouted, pulling back his fist, "Megaton Punch!" He rushed with great inertia at Anti-Ryan and let his fist fly. Almost without effort, Matt caught Ryan's fist.

"Watch where you're aiming," he said, "Anti-Ryan moved out of the way a while back. Pay attention…" he scolded, pushing Ryan back with a simple flick of the wrist.

Mio put her hands up to her mouth. "Zach, can't they just stop?" she asked.

Zach said nothing. He just kinda shrugged. Then there was silence.

"Whoa, Matt's gotten way stronger…" Cody said from behind them, causing Mio to jump. "I recall Matt and Ryan sparring all the time, and Matt just barely won. That was back he wore that stupid sweatshirt."

"Concurage," replied Andrew, catching Cody off-guard.

"I dunno what you all talking about…" Joseph muttered, catching Andrew off-guard.

Nick was about to say something, but Joseph turned around and smashed his face in.

"FABULOUS DRILL!!" Ryan screamed.

Matt shook his head. "That's got to be the worst name for a special attack ever sence Nick's 'Sexy Knuckle'…"

Ryan dived at Anti-Ryan with his zanbatou pointing straight ahead. Then he began to spin wildly, earning tons of style points. Even though Anti-Ryan dodged it, Ryan still landed with a hair-flip. Then he earned twelve metro-points. He also earned one spontaneous-point and six arrogant-points.

Anti-Ryan made a funny-noise like a Bruce Lee ki-ai and ran toward Ryan. As the two zanbatous made contact, lightning and rocks went flying through the air.

"My powers amplified, Ryan," Anti-Ryan said as he got in Ryan's face, "It is raining, after all."

"Incorrect," Ryan replied, keeping Anti-Ryan's zanbatou back with ease, "Water does _not_ conduct electricity."

"What?! Yes it does!"

"No, salt does, you stupid moron-head!" Ryan cried, pushing Anti-Ryan back, "What you're thinking of is salt. If you were to shock water, and I was chilling in it, nothing would happen. That is, if my body wasn't covered in salt. However, because it is, I would receive a shock. But you're saying all water conducts electricity. And I'm saying no; _salt_ does. Now, if your element was microwave, then that'd be different. Water is severely heated by microwaves, so if you hit me with a microwave cannon, I'd receive quite the heavy amount of damage. Go back to the tenth grade, you fool!"

"…I'm only in the eighth grade, idiot." Anti-Ryan replied.

"Well that explains your stupidity then, doesn't it?"

"Shut up you guys!" Matt called, "Get back to the fighting! This rain will kill you if you don't shut up and fight."

The two ignored him. "The point remains, if I shoot you with lightning, you'd still receive that heavy damage," Anti-Ryan continued, "You said it yourself, you're covered in salt, and it conducts electricity."

"I know that, dude. But you said that because it's raining, your power is amplified. That's untrue; your power is amplified because I'm wet."

"But either way, my power's still amplified."

"So?"

"So you'd better watch--" but Anti-Ryan was cut off after he got smacked in the face with a rock. He dropped his weapon and placed his hands on his mouth. "You hit me in the teeth…" he groaned, feeling around for blood.

"Well, even though it's raining, I'm still better than you." Ryan said, getting in a stance. Then he quickly jumped high into the air and brought his blade down with intense force. "Gaia!" he shouted. Anti-Ryan blocked it with a force of lightning, but Ryan jumped off of it and came back down harder. "Giga Gaia!" Anti-Ryan blocked it in the same way. But Ryan jumped up again and did a flip. Then he came down with such force, it broke through Anti-Ryan's force field. "Gamma Gaia…" Ryan whispered, looking down into the giant crater he made. Anti-Ryan laid with a funny K.O.'d face in the center.

"And Ryan wins…" Matt said, walking back inside.

"N-not so fast…" sputtered Anti-Ryan as he slowly crawled out of the crater.

Ryan looked back angrily. "Vulcan Kick!" he cried, doing a swift spin kick. A laser shot out from his foot and hit Anti-Ryan, sending him back into the crater.

"Still an enigma…" Cody announced as Ryan walked back inside with a huge grin, "Emotions have nothing to do with anything for this one. He acts upon instinct, with a thriving wisdom hidden beneath a coat of ridiculous crap…I'm going to take a nap."

Ryan nodded. "Whatever. I'm gunna go back and play my Wii in my room." He said, walking towards his door. The room next to his was Zach's and Mio stepped out of it and kicked Ryan in the junk. "Hooo, Gahfrikow!" he shouting, falling to the floor.

Hours later, the rain had only let up slightly. Anti-Ryan walked away slowly, depressed.

"You haven't achieved anything since I left, have you?" a dark and familiar voice whispered behind one of the cherry blossoms.

Anti-Ryan looked around cautiously, and gasped when he saw who made his way before him. "Tony? You're alive?"

Anti-Nick smiled in the same fiendish way he always did, showing off his shark-like teeth. "Kyle, I saw you got your ass handed to you on a platinum platter with diamond encrusting the perimeter of that platter which was inherited to someone by the most important man in the ass-handing business." He said.

"Well, that's a crappy way to put it, but yeah. I lost." Anti-Ryan replied, "But hey. You're alive. That time two years ago, you just kinda disappeared after you said you were going after Joey."

"Yeah, I lost my lower half in that battle…but it was two-on-one…" Anti-Nick said. Where legs would normally be, Anti-Nick had a tower of ice that he kept frozen with his mastery over the element.

Anti-Ryan frowned. "Okay…So what do you say? Ready to come back to the Anti-House?" he asked.

Anti-Nick chuckled evilly. "That depends…Who all's left?"

"Besides me and you? Vince and Timmy."

"But not Anti-Matt?"

"Matt said that he's still alive, but I haven't seen him."

Anti-Nick chuckled again and moved away toward the Anti-House with Anti-Ryan trailing behind him.

That evening, Pood was working diligently in his spice garden when he spiced it up a little bit. He began to Flamenco Dance with extreme skill. But his skillful Flamenco excursion was brought to a swift halt when an unfamiliar face made its entrance.

"Yes, and how may I help you?" Pood asked cautiously. The unfamiliar face was a tall and grotesque humanoid with bleeding eyes veiled by a blindfold.

"Nosferatu is the name…" it replied, its arms locked behind its back. It had a much bigger third arm coming out from its back.

"Ah, I've heard of _you_ before," Pood said, "You're that creepy zombie guy. What can I do for you?"

Nosferatu was a horrifying creature. "The children…the boys, the 'Septuplets'…one in particular…Ryan…he knows. My brother EVAN…they fight eachother in the night. EVAN doesn't realize…the potential danger..."

As Nosferatu continually ranted on about pointless crap with his monotone voice, Pood went inside to the phone and called the Pad.

Expectedly, Mio picked up, sounding troubled, "Hello?"

"Get some caller-I.D. over there will you?" Pood scolded. He doesn't expect a 'hello', he expects a 'at your duty, my liege,' or something. "And put Ryan on. He's not sleeping yet, is he?"

"No, sir. I'll get him for you."

'That's right,' Pood thought, 'Total respect.'

Soon Ryan held the phone to his ear with his chin lifted high and his eyes half-closed. "Hola, aloha, o-haio, and good evening, Poodles. Whatchaneed?"

"Three rules, foolish! One: You are American! Speak English only! Two: Don't call me Poodles, and three: WTF is a Nosferatu?!" Pood shouted looking out the window at the zombie, still blabbing away.

"Nosferatu, Lithuanian for 'Immortal.' A viral zombie that has gone through many experiments. Of course; common knowledge, man."

"You have no life." Pood said with a crazy face on.

"…I hope you die old man…" Ryan whispered.

"Um, Ryan?" Mio inquired, "Why would you say that?"

"Mio, Mio…How many times do I gotta tell you? I'm just messing around."

"Is that Mio? Tell her we where just messing around!" Pood called.

"Hear that, Mio? Even Pood thinks you're too serious."

Whew... I'm tired... I'm gonna stop writing now.


End file.
